Editor’s note: We’re breaking in before the hijinks begin to let you know that the fungus photos above were taken on the Camp Fletcher nature trail last week by our VISTA volunteers Kayleigh Funderburk and Hank Henley. Our woods really do contain a gorgeous display of mushrooms this time of year.
From: Camp Fletcher Management
To: Camp Dining Division
Dear Chef Wolfgang,
Congratulations. The lasagna you served at lunch today was delicious. It could have used a bit less pepper and a touch more basil, though.
I saw your proposed menu for next week, and this is getting ridiculous. I am asking—no, make that ordering—you to remove cream of mushroom soup from next week’s menu. Also, please remove the stuffed mushrooms, mushroom risotto, scrambled eggs with mushrooms, and mushroom tacos from next week’s offerings. From now on, you are not to serve any dishes in the Camp Fletcher kitchen that have even the smallest hint of mushroom in them.
I don’t care if the campers have been begging you to prepare mushroom-based dishes because “mushrooms are Twinkle’s favorite food.” First of all, how would the children know what foods elves like to eat? Secondly, there is no such thing as a wood elf named Twinkle Loblolly living at Camp Fletcher, and we shouldn’t be confusing our campers on this point by indulging their elf-related requests.
Thanks for making the Camp Fletcher dining hall a mushroom-free environment.
Have a nice day!
Hi there from Camp Fletcher,
Q: What do mushrooms eat around the campfire at Camp Fletcher?
Get it? s’pores, not s’mores. That’s a little elvish fungus humor for you.
You’ll have to pardon me if I’m a little silly this week. I can’t help myself because it’s mushroom time! It’s MUSHROOM TIME! Yippee, hooray and goody, goody, goody!
Mushroom time is always the absolute best, and this is a fantastic year for mushrooms. I’m simply giddy!
This is the time of year when you can find mushrooms growing everywhere at Camp Fletcher. The weather we’ve had this spring has been perfect for mushrooms, so we have lots and lots of them right now. They are so bright and colorful. We have white ones, brown ones, orange ones, red ones and even some that are kind of green and translucent. There’s even a kind of fungus in the woods called foxfire that glows in the dark.
The mushrooms in my forest come in all kinds of shapes too. Some of my mushrooms look like flowers, some of them look like fans, and some look like, well, like mushrooms.
I love mushrooms. Not only are they beautiful to look at, they are my favorite food of all time except maybe for Skittles. The problem with Skittles is they don’t grow wild in the woods like mushrooms, so I don’t get to eat them very often.
My belly is full of mushrooms, but I can’t stop eating them. They’re so good. I think I’m going to make a thick mushroom stew tonight. Tomorrow I’m going to have mushrooms and taters for lunch, stir fried mushrooms for lunch, a mushroom sandwich for supper, mushroom pie for dessert and raw mushrooms with ranch dressing all day long. Yum!
Kids, don’t eat any mushrooms you find in the woods. Humans should only eat mushrooms that come from the store. Some kinds of wild mushrooms are poisonous to people and can make you very sick if you can’t tell the safe kind from the poisonous kind. Elves, especially wood elves like me, can eat any kind of mushrooms they find, of course. Being able to eat any kind of mushroom I stumble across is one of the very best things about being an elf. To me, they’re all delicious.
Yippee, hooray and goody, goody, goody! It’s mushroom time!
I’m fungally yours and your faithful friend,
If you have a question for Twinkle or just want to say hi, he’d love to hear from you. You can e-mail Camp Fletcher’s very own elf at firstname.lastname@example.org.